she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just had sex bonerless
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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