I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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