I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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