This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
