so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize