YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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