My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
