I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
