can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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