so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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