I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
