his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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