My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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