She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
