Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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