I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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