He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
