Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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