Do you still have your period?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
