weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
