even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
