Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
