Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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