I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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