you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
