You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
