It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
third nipple confirmed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
