If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
