there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize