i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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