HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he puts the penis in happiness.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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