i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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