so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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