She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
