Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
