yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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