I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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