Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
