You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
