oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
