just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
