can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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