a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
