Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize