She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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