this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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