Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
