R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize