Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
