I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
