absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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