: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
