How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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