Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
