It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
