I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
