so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
