Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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