five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
