I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.