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There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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