she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.