OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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