check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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