I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
