i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
