I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
