matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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