his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
