im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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